So I had an "Israel Moment" today. You know what I mean. A moment when in your heart you know what God has done for you in the past and you know he has been faithful, but you still doubt if he will be faithful this time. You worry and fret and try to take things in your own hands like Israel when they were in the wilderness and had no food or water and didn't believe God could provide Manna from heaven. 

Well anyway over the last few days I have been looking at our finances try to figure out how Kara can work less and spend more time focusing on school, all while still making all of our bills. We in no way are in a bad financial situation at all, but it was just a moment of can we continue living as generously as we have been and still make this thing work. I realized that I had forgotten to write a check to give to the church this last week. So I was filling out the check thinking man this is a lot of money that would make the whole financial situation thing a lot more comfortable. As I was thinking that, I knew that God has consistently been faithful to us financially when we have been faithful to give back to Him what he has blessed us with. So I wrote the check, while still feeling a little anxiety deep down.

It was not an hour later that God came down and not just slapped me in the head, but full fledge kneed me in the gut. I was out around town and I get a phone call from my wife. She informs me that she has received a promotion at the hospital because of her completion of her first semester of nursing school (We knew this was coming), and with that promotion came almost a 2 dollar raise (we had no idea this was coming). To this point we had thought that she might receive 25 or 50 cent raise, but nowhere in my mind did I think it would be 2 dollars an hour more. 

I then go on to read the parable of the talents in Matthew, and am reminded that for those that are faithful in the small things more will be given to them. 

It was at this point that I kind of smiled and thought "Wow, how big of a moron must I look like now." I actually thought that I might know better than the God of the universe how to handle my finances. For the record, I am not even that good at finances by human standards let alone in comparison to the Almighty God of the Universe.

So that is my reminder for today of what a horrible person I am and how desperately wicked my soul is. Praise Christ that Jesus died on the cross to redeem my soul and forgive my unbelief.